Life Lessons from Isoken
Netflix has been doing a great job of sharing Nollywood films. I have watched a number of them, and the latest has prompted me to write this post. Overall, Isoken is a wonderful film filled with the expected drama and some unexpected turns. The movie is named after the main character, an intelligent, funny, and beautiful woman in her 30s. I almost stopped watching at the beginning when Isoken’s friends advised her to hide her natural hair to go on a date. I am glad I kept watching because I caught a few life lessons I want to share.
Your natural beauty is beautiful enough. Whether you’re going on a date or a job interview, be you. Natural beauty is not the same as unkept or unhygienic. Take care of your natural hair. Clean yourself up. Put on a nice outfit. And go to anything people might deem too important for you to attend as you are.
Once you have embraced yourself, make sure the people around you do as well. I was so disappointed in Isoken’s friends when they suggested she put on a weave/wig for her first date with a guy. “Don’t go with that all natural look…give him some glam.” “No one expects to see the real you on a first date.” Says who? I actually think relationships would be better off if everyone - men and women - showed their real selves on their first dates. In real life, I hope a woman like Isoken is able to say “this is the real me” and act accordingly. Only you can ensure that your inner circle accepts who you are and encourages you to be your authentic self.
You almost always know when you’re taking the wrong path. Whether it’s to please your family or to try and make things “easier” for yourself, don’t do it. Listen to that wise voice within. The people who love you will eventually be happy you took the right turn.
Respecting your parents is not synonymous with living a miserable life to please them. Isoken represents a huge number of adult children who feel they have to do certain things to keep the peace in their families. I mean, don’t ignore everything that is right but also don’t forget that your life is your own. If there is too much pressure to do anything against your will because of your family’s inconsiderate timelines and expectations, remind them that you’re walking different paths. I was as happy as Isoken’s father when she finally told her mother what the deal was. I saw so much of me in her in that moment, except my moment happened in written words.
If you’re going to date multiple people, be clear with them. I personally cannot imagine going out with two people at the same time. I get too emotionally involved for that, but I realize other women want to «explore » their options. Being honest with everyone involved is the right thing to do. Otherwise, don’t be surprised when two people are in love with you and you’re stuck in the middle unsure of yourself. Also, if a man or woman has already said they intend to marry you (not just date), do you both a favor and end things before jumping into something else.
If you haven’t watched Isoken, open Netflix and just do it. It’s a fun way to relax during the craziness of the holiday season.
