Your wedding day should not be the happiest day of your life.

While scrolling through Facebook this morning, I came across our wedding album. It was posted exactly seven years ago by our generous friend/wedding photographer Morgan. I looked at each picture with a smile, remembering the day as if it were yesterday. I remembered the joy I felt then, which reminded me of something I often hear people say to engaged people, particularly engaged women - that your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life. All this does is put so much pressure on people that they forget to enjoy their wedding day.

When all is said and done, the wedding day is a time to celebrate something that already exists and will hopefully continue to exist for decades to come. It is a stop on the love and commitment train that two people embark with their hearts open and filled with hope. There is no doubt that it is a happy day. I might even go as far as to say that it is the happiest day of a person’s life up until that moment.

But if I meet someone after 10 or so years of marriage and learn that their wedding day is STILL the happiest day of their life, I will be concerned for them. When done right, a marriage brings a couple closer than ever before. The closeness grows each day, in good and bad times. In my own case, I’ve never loved my Husband like I love him today. The butterflies I felt when I met him are not even close to what I feel when I see him taking care of our babies or when he does one of the countless small and big things he does for us every day.

I can name a few days or moments that have been at least as happy as our wedding day. Some have been more joyful, and they were not always major life events. It would make no sense for me to tell any bride-to-be that her wedding day will be her happiest of all. Instead, I would challenge every bride and groom to top the joy they felt on their wedding day every chance they get.

Be intentional about showing kindness towards your spouse. Express yourself lovingly even when the topic is difficult. Choose to love hard every day you wake up and watch your life become brighter than you ever imagined. This way, your wedding day will forever be a joyful memory but hopefully not the happiest day of the rest of your life.